So, you’ve drawn your Secret Santa recipient and you’re faced with the conundrum that arises every year. What do you buy for the man that has everything? The answer, of course, is a novelty gift from Amazon that he never knew he needed.
That’s right – money, sports cars and penthouse apartments cannot buy happiness. A stationery organiser shaped like somebody sitting on the toilet, though? Now you’re cooking with gas. Let’s review some great Secret Santa gifts for him, for any male friends, family members and colleagues.
Strobing Beer Glass
Every man enjoys having a pint glass or stein to call his own. Equally, though, there may appear to be something missing. If a man in your life is looking forlorn and weeping into his beer, he is likely crushing disappointed that the glass is just too plain for his flamboyant persona.
Well, get ready to make your gift recipient’s life complete. This pint glass flashes a quartet of different hues, making even the warmest, flattest beer more enjoyable. It can be turned off if the recipient is attempting to enjoy an illicit after-dark tipple, but it’s otherwise handy for spotting somebody from twelve paces during an outdoor event at night.
£8.50 | View Product
Does your husband, brother, son or colleague watch James Bond movies with envy in his eyes? You may not be able to send him off on secret missions on behalf of Her Majesty, but you can gift a gadget worthy of 007 himself.
This multi-purpose pen also acts as a stylus for a tablet or smartphone, screwdriver and spirit level. Did we mention that it can used to write things, too? Truly, the possibilities are endless!
£3.99 | View Product
Desktop Punching Bag Stress Reliever
Man annoyed. Man punch things. Man feel better. It’s a simple equation, and maybe not always commendable, but its undeniably effective. That’s why this desktop punching bag is perfect for anybody that finds himself in high-stress environments. A finger-flick of the bag will be just as effective, albeit arguably not quite as satisfying.
Suction cups stick the punching bag to a desk, and the spring ensures that it rocks back and forth. It’s probably not ideal for a recipient with a rage consummate with the Hulk, but it’s the first step toward training for twelve rounds with Tyson Fury.
£11.89 | View Product
If your Secret Santa recipient is a handy type, this is the ultimate gift. Slipped over the wrist, it magnetically holds all the tiny metallic parts lost when men gleefully tear into a piece of flat pack furniture and toss the instructions over their shoulder in disgust. Perfect for Christmas morning, when half the family end up stepping on casually abandoned screws required for the impossibly elaborate construction of a child’s toy.
£10.99 | View Product
Beer Pong Set
Beer pong is truly the game of champions. It enables men to embrace their love of competition, athletic prowess (look, it counts) … and drinking beer in the name of sportsmanship. Honestly, however invented this game deserves a Knighthood.
Bring this kit into the life of your recipient and he’ll have everything he needs to get into training. With the current way things are going, beer pong may even need to be an Olympic event at the 2021 games to ensure social distanced sporting events.
£4.99 | View Product
Beard Shaping Template Tool
The humble beard has undergone a wide array of evolutions over the years. No longer are those that sport facial fuzz dismissed as Beardy Weirdies – men are now free to roam with breakfast crumbs trapped in their magnificent manes free of judgment.
Naturally, though, beards still require maintenance. Whether your recipient is sporting a bushy mass that would make Grizzly Adams green with envy of a soul patch reminiscent of a 90s Boy Band, this shaping template will ensure that he is always looking sharp.
£5.95 | View Product
Six-Pack Beer Belt
You can tell a lot about a man by his choice of belt. If he’s wearing a brown belt with black shoes, or vice versa, he is clearly an agent of chaos and not to be trusted. On the plus side, such recipients are easy to gift for.
This effortlessly classy six-pack beer belt will match any ensemble, from cargo pants to a Saville Row suit. It takes all that pesky ‘carrying’ out of the process of enjoying beers with buddies.
£8.95 | View Product
Build-on Brick Mug
It takes a brave soul to come between a man and his coffee first thing in the morning. With most men incapable of communicating in more than grunts before 9am, however, how are they expected to communicate?
This build-on brick mug provides the answer through the powerful medium of mime. Lego bricks can be stuck to the mug, sending a clear and unmistakable message. Alternatively, it could just be used for a little fun!
£11.95 | View Product
“The Butt” Stationery Holder
There are two things you can say for certain about most men in the workplace. They love toilet humour, and they are useless at taking care of their stationery supply. Seriously, offer to loan your colleague a number 2 pencil and you’d think he’d inhaled nitrous oxide.
Naturally, this means that The Butt offers the best of all possible worlds. It holds post-it notes, pens and pencils, while also doubling up as a Sellotape dispenser. All while shaped like a man on the toilet. We’re convinced that human endeavour has peaked with this item.
£12.95 | View Product
52 Things to Do While You Poo Book
We try not to think about how much time the average man spends on the loo during his lifetime. It took Leo Tolstoy six years to write War and Peace, and many of us could probably have knocked up such a tome twice over if we used our toilet time more productively.
That’s why this book is the ideal gift for any man in your life. Encourage them to stop using a bathroom break to count their teeth with their tongue and learn a new skill instead. Just don’t be surprised if they wander off speaking English and return fluent in Mandarin.
£5.89 | View Product